Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Berlin Trilogy

Later today, I am flying to the land of croquettes, canals and way too much of this. But first, three quick newsflashes from my base in Berlin:

1) Many readers (that is, none) have complained about the vulgarity in this blog. In response to them (that is, nobody), I decided yesterday to take the first sweeping step by eliminating my use of the beloved term douchebag. Since this move would effectively reduce my written output by about a third, I started searching immediately for a suitable replacement, and last night (call it an example of douche ex machina, if you will) I found it in the form of a coffee and bakery chain outlet spotted on a train platform in Alexanderplatz:

2) I woke up this morning thinking Pinnwand was another entertaining word for ignorant English-speakers like myself. It means "notice" or "board," or "notice board" - I think - and is a fine replacement for the epithet needle-dick.

3) Finally, to all you crobags and pinnwands who have complained about my heretofore low output on this blog: I've been ill. Lots of flying, little sleeping, being spit on by drunks shouting in my ear at clubs, not having access to my giant tub of hand sanitizer - these are all risks inherent in the life of a traveling synchronizer of phonographic records, and sickness was probably inevitable. I apologize for the lack of updates; however, I'm on the mend and I promise more soon. Thank you for your patience.

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